Amnesia

I’m proud for having a Chef boyfriend. I swear.

But it happened for short little time. That’s suck.

We broke up.

I still adore him as my favorite teacher. He knew everything about food than me but I still want to learn to be as good as him. I don’t hate him at all. We just can’t get back for some reason.

Anyway.

After trying to stop talk to him, I can’t restrain myself to grab my phone and texted him. I told him that I can’t forget about him and asked how to stop this feeling. Surprisingly, he replied “move on”. That is so rude for me. One more time, I said “how” but he didn’t reply. I’m crying for that…

After that I try to find out about “how to move on from your boyfriend” on Google. Yeah I Google that weird things but that’s fine. But after I found some ways to get move on, it just make me feel very depressed. I feel like I’m trying too hard to forget about him. Then I asked my best friend, Isti. How to deal with myself after horrible break up. She told me some cool ways and I am going to tell you right now! But before I tell you that cool idea, I will tell you what I found on Google:

1. Forget everything about him

2. Stay away from everything about him.

3. Don’t try to talk to him at all.

4. Make yourself busy.

5. Find out new crush.

They don’t work to me, I swear! Try to forgetting him just make me remembering him always. Stay away from everything about him. It just made me want to cry. Don’t talking to him just make me want to stalk all his social media. Make myself busy just make me can’t do my best on my work. Find out new crush just make me compere my ex bf and someone else and of course it will make someone else hurt.

Well, here we are…………………………

Things I do to forgetting ex bf :

1.       Admit it! You still love him. You want him so bad. Don’t be naïve. Just tell yourself that he means the world to you.

2.       Tell your close friend what is your problem. They will never give you best solution because your head messing up and you really don’t know what to do. Everything your friend says will always wrong for you because they don’t feel what you are actually feel at that time. But at least you throw away all your pain. You will feel better.

3.      Read all the text messages from him. Remembering all the moments with him.

4.      Crying under your pillow. I know it is so kiddy. But it works for me because I live alone. That sad feeling will come at night and I am sure I don’t want to bother my neighbor next door.

5.      Make a video!!! Tell all your pain on the video. You can cry, you can probably tell the camera about how nice your relationship with your ex and how can you broke up. Just cry as long as you want. After finish make the video, watch it. See how disgusting you are when you “crossing oceans for person that won’t even jump a puddle for you”. Delete the video. You will feel like you delete the pain. It’s fine.

I know all I said probably will take a long time. Maybe it can take 1 month or maybe 2 months. But it is normal! It’s very normal. You get pain because your great relationship with special person you know just over. You separated with special person at that time but you still have to get up! There were so many things you can do for your life. You can go ahead and see your bright future. You can reach your biggest dream and enjoy your life. Make your parents and all family member who you love being happy and proud of you. I believe that someday we can find someone better. In Sha Allah…
 
Edit :
After few months, I realized that he don't deserve me. He is not good as I think. All I receive, all he said is just bullshit! Hahaha.
He is not great as I think. He is not an expert of what he said. He is just like a clown. I feel sorry for his new girlfriend cause she just don't know his actual faces. Yes, faces cause he has so much face. He told different things to everyone.
I'm grateful for being away from him now. I feel like I can get better and brighter future than him cause his weapon is just his mouth.